Rivenrock Gardens Cactus Blog

And what of Marriage?

Excerpted from~ Kahlil Gibran~ ‘The Prophet’

Then Almitra spoke again and said,
“And what of Marriage, master?”
And he answered saying:
“You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when white wings of death scatter your days.
Aye, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together, yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.”

   What is marriage, what is a relationship? What is the nature of two people who join together to form a company? When one person has a good product for a business but has no financing and business savvy to plan the business they must look to another, a partner to help finance and run the business. This is the concept of marriage. When a person wants to raise a family it is simply too much to do alone, they need a partner in the endeavor. They need someone who is loyal and steadfast. Someone who has a similar mindset to childrearing and other factors that form part of a relationship.
   Too often relationships are built only upon the sexual lustful sides of mutual attraction. Now certainly being able to appreciate your mates’ looks is important, but it cannot be the single overriding concern in a relationship. Looks will fade with age, and the bright golden hair of spring will be replaced by the silver halo of winter.
   Steadfast loyalty and humor will be likely to outlast silky thighs and firm tummies. Look for the same high qualities in a mate that you would look for a business partner, because your life is your business, and you need as solid a person in that endeavor as you need in the business world.
   Being together and having fun is good, but sometimes both people need some time off on their own to fill their life with the things that mean a lot to them. Don’t crowd, trust them to do what is right when not under your gaze. And you have to do what is right also. Spend some time together doing the things that make both of you happy. Laugh a lot, it is easier to laugh than to quarrel, and it lasts in the memory much more pleasantly.
   If you have the right person you should be able to look back years later and think of the times together and know that you both got along well, and the bad times were so few and far between that they were insignificant when compared to the good times.